Tuesday, June 30, 2009


Here's what I think about Politics:

Failed Firework Nutshot Explosion - Watch more Funny Videos

Thursday, June 25, 2009

I'm not writing MJ's obituary

I'm sure we'll all remember where we were when we found out Michael Jackson died. We'll remember Thriller and ABC 123. Even younger people will remember when he came out on stage for the MTV Movie Awards with N'Sync in 2001. But what I'll remember the most is that time Michael Jackson molested all those little boys. All day today on Hot 97 they're playing MJ songs. While we're at it, let's all "become fans" of Meagan's Law on Facebook?! When OJ dies is ESPN going to run "OJ's greatest runs of all time" (I will not insult you with a cheap White Bronco joke). Just kidding, I am.

"Even in death, we need to keep it real"
-Jesus Christ
Proverbs 7:24

Friday, June 19, 2009

Sex? Yes please

A couple is having a playful fight when the wife says something to the effect of "Oh yea? Then you can explain to your friends that you're a cranky son-of-a-bitch because you haven't had sex in 6 months."

First thing about a woman saying this line- it's bullshit. I don't know any woman who can go 6 months without sex when sex is made readily available. But I digress...

My only question is to her threat is "do blowjobs count?" Crude? Maybe a little but important nonetheless. Let me ask you a question. For $1 million bucks would you stay on a deserted island with no real food to eat but a tasteless magical pill (this pill contains all nutrients necessary for survival) for 6 months? Now you see where I'm going with my question. Now, what if instead of just this magical pill you got warm, fresh baked bread every day? ed note: Not all BJ's are created equal- I've gotten some that are more day old English Muffins than Lenders Bagels, if you now what I'm saying.

In conclusion, don't try to really get an answer when asking this question- there is no way a woman who is refusing to sleep with you is going to hook you up with some good fellatio in it's stead... at least not after college. I'm just serious.