Friday, February 27, 2009

Test your might!

LOL, the joke is too obvious right here.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

RNT Basketball Season Update

Don't worry, I'll spare you the details. Long story short, my company's basketball dropped another heart-breaker... to a team with one win. They now have 2 more wins than we do, LOL. Here are some shots from the game last night. Actually, I do want to say it was the best team game we had played all year. Guys made cuts, passes and smart plays all game long. Considering we still lost, take that tid bit of knowledge for what its worth.

Rallying the troops!!!

Air Dre's- Coming in 2010.

This guy must be blind, cuz he can't see me!

Rebound by Hot Ging.

Don't worry, I kept my dribble.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

So you're saying there's a chance!

"Right now, men across the county are doing a little dance of joy — Megan Fox may be back on the market.

Fox, 22, and fiancé Brian Austin Green, 35, have quietly ended their engagement, according to People.

"The decision was mutual," a source told the magazine. "They're still friends."
The Transformers star met Green, in 2004, and got engaged two years later in November of 2006."

First off, let me just say that I'm glad she didn't give him herpes and I'm glad he didn't beat the shit out of her. Second, I'm flying out to LA yesterday. Peace out.

Good things are coming!

...when I woke up this morning, it was so sunny that I thought I had overslept. I didn't; It's starting to get to that time and this is going to be one sick summer.

Monday, February 23, 2009

RNT Black Sox

I just finalized our jersey order for the upcoming softball season and I'm really starting to get excited about it. The weather is starting to get warmer and it's the sun is setting later. As far as the team goes, I feel that we added some pretty good new talent and with the core of the team all returning this year, I think a bounce back year is definitely looking likely. It's not a competitive leage but only the top 4 teams make the playoffs so we're going to have to be "game on" from the start this year. Shit, at the very least we'll all look good, which is really what it's all about, lol.

Stop telling me your gym schedule!

Seriously, why do people always talk about how often they go to the gym? It's almost as bad as those people who tell you when they're planning to go the gym. I am suppose to be impressed that you woke up this morning and worked out? But those people aren't even the worst. At least those people are working out (probably once a week and that's why their mentioning it) but then you have those people that constantly talk about their diet. What? Am I suppose to marvel at the will power you possess? LOL, these people are working out and dieting for 8 months yet never see results... what are the chances of that? I can actually figure that one out using a simple equation.

D-N (W-Q)/ R= S

D is the number of days you tell someone about the gym or your diet
N is the number of days you actually go to the gym or stick to your diet
W is the number of weeks you stick to this plan
Q is the number of weeks you take off in between sticking to your plan
R is the number of people you tell this to
...and all that equals to S, or the amount of shit you're full of.

Come on people! If you are really dieting or working out people would be able to tell. If the only reason "Suzie" knows you working out is because you told her... it doesn't count. And I'm not the bad guy here. I have told people that I've started to notice a change in their physique to try and motivate them, even if it wasn't 100% true. Half the time, they take that as a reason to completely stop because they've hit their "goal"...
Ahhhh, feels good to be back. I'm just serious... get back to the gym!

P.S. This post doesn't apply to those who actually work out and diet. If you got tips you actually want to share, then I'm all for it. This post applies to those "who know who you are..." LOL
P.P.S One of my friends emailed me about this post... and she said "I don't know if I should be mad at you for being an asshole or mad at myself for not going to the gym enough, lol" Thank you, thank you.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Coming soon...

New posts today. Happy Friday, fuckers!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Back Door?

I was at the bar last night and saw this door. I was trying to figure out what could be behind it- but tell me that just but putting that sign up, the only thing you want to do is open that door? I bet it's that door in Beetlejuice that leads to the sand world with the giant snakes...

Friday, February 13, 2009

Valentine's Day Gift

I know girls get flowers and candy and dinner for Valentine's Day. But what do guys get? I'm not sure but the best gift I've ever got for Valentine's Day was sex coupons. That's right, sex coupons. With various activities on them. They truly are the gift that keeps on giving. So ladies, they're cheap and you'll probably be doing it anyway- so you might as well trick us into thinking that you put as much time and effort into our present as we did into yours. Enjoy this generic card!

Keep it Coming Friday

I overheard a conversation today. Some coworkers were talking about the plane that recently crashed in Buffalo last night. There were a couple of comments that I heard that as per usual, I have to pick apart, lol. First off, summing up plane crashes in general by saying "that's really scary" is not only incredibly obvious- but also incredibly wrong. Just because something happens once in a blue moon, doesn't make me scared of it. Are we really walking around in our daily lives scared a plane is about to crash into us? Are police carrying guns in case a plane robs a bodega? I have a friend who sleeps with a shotgun when her husband isn't home at night- is it because she's worried a masked plane is going to break into her house and rape her?! No, all those things happen because of black people.

Second, there was a woman on the plane who was a 911 widow. Well, all anyone can talk about is how tragic that shit is. Why is it we act so fucking shocked when something bad happens to a 911 survivor or widow? Did Jesus already punch their pain and suffering card? Is it written somewhere that we're maxed out at one bad thing per life? If that's the case, most of us have already hit that threshold.

I have a better idea, let's round all the 911 widows and survivors up and wrap them and all their loved ones in bubble wrap to ensure nothing bad ever happens to these people again. No, I'm not saying it's not horrible and I can't imagine the amount of grief her family must be feeling. As a friend of my says (and I agree) they deserve a free pass for the rest of their lives. I'm just asking those of us who weren't impacted at all by the newest bad thing to happen to 911 victims stop acting like we're amazed something bad happened to them again? I believe Ghandi said it best "shit happens".

BTW- I'm joking about the 'black people' joke? I'm just serious.

"It's Friday" is not an answer

Can we cut the shit already? Why is it when you come into work and ask someone "how are you doing?", you get the fucking "it's Friday, right?"

Ummm, are you asking me to confirm what day it is? Or are you somehow avoiding my question by informing me that tomorrow is Saturday?

Oh, I get it- you're "just OK" but the fact that it's the weekend and you get to go to Home Depot of A&P with your wife makes you just a little bit better. Holy shit! Next person to answer me with "well, it's Friday" is going to get a follow up question. It's going to be "do you have any plans?" Technically, it's a rhetorical question because I know the answer is going to be a resounding "no, but it's not work." Fuck man, if I had your life, I think I'd rather be working. I'm just serious.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Ewwww- A L-O-V-E Post

If you love someone, tell them "I know you love me."

Here's the thing...

The funny thing about funerals and wakes is that they aren't for the dead. They're fucking dead, so I highly doubt they give a shit that the Tannenbaum's sent flowers. Funerals are for the living, so they can cope with the fact that this person that they cared about is gone- not coming back.

I'm not some funeral director, so I'm not going to act like I'm surrounded by death- but think about it. If you've ever had someone close to you pass away, what is the ONE thing we all wish for? We just wish we had one chance to tell that person that we loved them. We always want that one thing that we can't have now. Why? The person you cared about is dead- they don't care what the last thing you told them was. The last thing you could have said to them might have been "If only Brad hadn't met Angelina, we'd all be better off." LOL, what the fuck! It wouldn't matter to them at all if that dipshit stayed with Jennifer Anniston, although it would spare me the thought of her sleeping with that John Mayer douche bag.

But I digress... I'm just saying that if you actually love someone who loves you in return, tell them that you know how much they care about you because you telling them that you love them is great- as long as your alive. Once you die, that person is left with an empty feeling that can be filled, or at least not as empty, if they could just tell themselves that you knew that you were so important in their lives that they would do anything to spend just one more day with you. It would give someone you love closure, which is what we all look for in a time of despair and grief.

LOL, this is not a morbid post. This should be the exact opposite. Is it morbid when a couple take out life insurance to make sure their children are protected in case of an accident? This isn't a "you might die at anytime" post. It's just a reminder that life, anyway you slice it, is short. And there's nothing wrong with sharing love with those around you- I'm just trying to throw a different twist on it.

Telling someone you love them is for you. Telling someone you know they love you- well, that's the most selfless thing you can say.

Reader Submitted

Steal from another website Wednesday! (Thursday Edition)

Just got this link from a co-worker who clearly knows me very well. I pass it along to you and if anyone actually tries to do this, please let me know what you think. I'll be trying to make some Skodka myself this weekend. Drink this!

RNT Basketball Season

In order to sum up my company's basketball season, I will quote Albert Einstein:

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”.

Every week we have a female conversation about what we did wrong the night before and how we need to fix it for the upcoming week. Why do I call it a female conversation? Well, because it's 5 people standing around not listening to a word anyone else is saying and is waiting for a pause in the conversation to put their own two cents in.

The thing is, we have some really good players on the team. But no one on this team has every played 5 on 5 basketball which is a lot different the 2 on 2 or 3 on 3 playing without a ref on the courts in the playground. But our season is pretty much over which in a way is good. It's going to allow everyone to just focus on having fun which anyone from home can tell you, is not my strong suit- yes, I'm a real sore loser. LOL. Next game goal: score 15 points anyway possible.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Steal This

So this is my newest addition to my "bar mug" collection. It's pretty sweet. I actually was at my uncle's wake when Jess and I went to a bar across the street to watch the Lakers-Cavs game we bet on. We ended up winning on that and I found this awesome Rangers mug, which Jess stole for me. The bar, The Bullpen, was actually pretty cool. They offer a happy hour deal which is worth mentioning. For a $20 initiation fee, you get a $15 happy hour between 6-8 every Friday. It's a pretty solid deal and the bar itself was worth checking out. Enjoy.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Yo- No Mas Can RAP!

"I've heard 3rd times a charm,
but I call it a hat trick.
I'm doing big things,
and I don't mean fat chicks!"
Steve Nomas

Guest Rebus

Try your luck at some original rebus' by Jess. Good luck!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Monday, February 2, 2009

I'm in Love

This is Scarlett O'Hara from the upcoming movie G.I. Joe. I don't know if it's the huge gun in her hand or the red hair but she is officially on my underrated list.

One Way Out

Has anyone seen the new television show One Way Out? This guy is an escape artist who does some crazy stunts. So in his last episode he escaped from an icy box. Well, I had a couple of beers and thought "fuck man, I can do that shit!" I just needed a little practice holding my breather. I sat on the couch holding my breathe for one full minute, no problem. Then Jess tells me I need to start training in ice water (she was drinking too). I didn't want to jump into a bathtub filled with ice so I filled the sink up and started by dunking my head. I lasted 30 seconds (not the first time, I've said that) before I panicked and pulled out (hahaha, you know where I'm going with this). I tried one last time and came up short again so I quit and it was then that I realized escapology wasn't for me. I'll just stick to bad puns. I'm just serious.

Bar Story During the Super Bowl

Great convo:

Bryan: I don't know- maybe its just me, but I really don't care about other people's kids... I mean, not to say that I don't care but I don't want to see pictures or hear stories about them.

Brian: Honestly dude, I have a kid and I gotta be honest- they don't do too much stuff to talk about . They're cute and shit but they just don't do anything! When I went to the hospital today for Conor's kid [ed. note, congrats to Conor on the birth of his son, Conor Jr.] and really, how many times can you say "congratulations" and just sit around staring at this baby with its eyes sealed shut. And really, at that age, they all look the same anyway.

Bryan: Exactly. Jess, what do you think? Is this just some guy thing?

Jess: No, it's an asshole thing.