As Dre put it- I have bloggers block. Things have been pretty busy for me lately, so blogging has taken a back seat. With that said, here are some random thoughts:
I hope Bill Gates invents a device that allows you to drop some eaves on people's IPODS. I find myself, no less than 10 times a day, wondering what someone is listening to on the MP3 players. If I'm on the train and some lady is giggling, I wonder "is she listening to Dane Cook? Or maybe she's listening to a song that reminds her of that time she gave her boyfriend a blumpkin?"
If I'm in the gym and some middle aged guy, wearing spandex, is running on the treadmill like a Kenyan, I wonder "is this guy rocking out to some 'Welcome to the jungle' for some audio motivation? Or maybe this guy is using the treadmill as a metaphor for running away from his gayness? STOP WEARING SPANDEX!
If I'm in the elevator and some Asian guy is listening to his IPOD while bopping a little, I think "is this guy seriously listening to 'Every body's working for the weekend'? Or maybe... no he's Asian and probably doing karaoke this weekend, so that's exactly what he's doing." But you get the idea.
Actually, I would love to be walking on the street listening to the jacked dude's IPOD next to me and be able to say "Rihanna? Really?"
I get a real kick out of accents. I think they're great. I wish I had an accent- sometimes when I go to Boston for a week to visit my boys, I come back rolling my "R" a bit, but that's not nearly as cool as, say and Irish accent, or even a southern accent. But some accents are so bad if feel like God is just fucking with us. Case in point: Staten Island. My boy Q has such a ridiculous accent that I trick him into telling me that he doesn't want to trade for my RB in football, Joseph Addai (pronounced A DIE). So, I'll call him up and ask if he wants Joe... his response is always "Who? Addai- I don't wanna die". My laughter ensues and he hangs up on me. Great shit.
You know what's great about guys? Saying whatever you want to your friends and then pretending it didn't happen. If your playing a pickup game of basketball and you invite your boy to head up to the pub with you and he declines, you can respond "fuck you then. Call you later?" And he just says "sure".
God, I hate talking on the phone. That's it. I prefer texting.
Lastly, shut out to all the owners in the SUNSET PARK basketball league. We had our draft last night and I took the liberty of writing down some of the things said to each other... or just out loud. The word fuck was used 117 times. Random references about other people homosexuality: 47. I had no idea, drafting Knicks meant you loved cock- but you learn something new everyday. I think CB and AFH insulted everyone after every pick- but I think that's to cover their own insecurities about their horrible drafts themselves. Overall, good times had by all.
This post was originally going to be my interpretation of what HELL is... or at least PURGATORY. It's pretty funny but I don't really have time to do it today. It'll probably be posted by tomorrow.
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