Out of all my peeves, the "me too" person has got to be one of the worst. This response can be to anything you say, but usually it is said right after you announce "I'm tired". For those who can't fathom what is going on here, I shall reenact what this conversation could look like.
Me: I'm tired
Asshole #1: Me too!
No shit! You are tired as well? What a fantastic coincidence! Now before I begin to dissect the validity of your retort, may I ask one question? What difference does it make that you too are tired? Are we going to take a nap together now? I don't think so. Did you think that I felt alone in this world and was hoping that someone else out there also suffered from this same affliction? I mean, while you're at it, could you tell me that everything is going to be OK? I wasn't looking for your sympathy. I was using "I'm tired" as in intro to tell you about the kick ass bender I had last night. Let's see you reply "me too" to that, fuck stick.
My second problem with this response is with the knee jerk manner in which is said, almost like a reactionary (not a real word, or is it?) response. It feels so insincere that I want to fake-punch them in the face and see if the manner in which flinch was the same as when they said "me too". Fuck you, me too. Why are you tired? Is it because you went to bed late last night? Were you watching Last Call with Carson Daly? Were you fighting crime? Were you trying to find the mystery of life in a hobo's ear canal? Ed. note: The mystery of life is not in a hobo's ear canal, I've checked. No! This cunt flap isn't really tired at all. The reason the pig fucker said "me too" is because his or her conversation skills rival that of a chimp. The next time someone says "me too", look them straight in the eye and say "Jesus Christ- are you ok?" When they look confused, explain that you thought their condition must have been so serious for them to interupt whatever you were going to say, that you were genuinely concerned that they may fall asleep standing up and fall over.
I know I'm not Webster (like the dictionary, not the midget) but the definition of conversation is: an exchange of thoughts and ideas through word. The definition of conversation is NOT: wait until other person's lips stop moving and then monopolize conversation with mindless drivel.
I'm just serious... oh, you are too! Go fuck yourself.
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